I swear we're not Santa

1. You buy storybooks because the cover is pretty.


2. You refuse to read books without pictures in them.


3. You point to your wrist whenever you ask what time it is.


4. You smile for the camera when you take pictures. Of other people.


5. You think a 'half-cup' bra is a bra with only one cup.
   
6. You stop swimming and go indoors because it's starting to rain and you're afraid of getting wet.


7. You watch football for the hot guys.


8. You always say, "like like like" and "Oh. MY. God."


9. You go into a sauna and complain how hot it is.


10. You think not eating chocolate is dieting.


11. You think a hyphen is a male hymen.

[11 points because 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 x 2 = 4. Kami 4. It's a sign from God, I suwerrr.]

Post written by Panatzorists. Based on true experiences.

Poklench
/pukl3nnce/ language spoken by the poklen tribe of G-Town, B-side and other indigenous tribes of similar customs and traditions.

Here are some useful phrases in Poklench. Once broken considered sold.


Lesson Number 1 - The Greeting

The normal greeting - Yaw bui.
The greeting used by higher class Poklens - Yoh.
The greeting used by alim Poklens - Asqwmx. (Assalamualaikum, in case kamu inda paham)


Lesson Number 2 - The Opening Line

The weather - Angat yaw.
The food - Manis buiii.
The smell - Haing buii.
The sound - Soulja Boy buiii.


Lesson Number 3 - The Pick-Up Line

Di Mall - Kiut ko ani dang eh.
Di rumah urang time beraya - Dang, ku dangar, ko ani, lawa gagagaga
Di Tambing - Manis muamu ani, sama manisnya cam belimbing ku jual ani wawawa
Di Westreet - You be my Soulja Gurl shawty.


Lesson Number 4 - The Msg Lingo

Salutation - Hye

Online is on9
tu is toh
ku is quh
boring is vrenx
darling is dalenx
mysh is miss (some dialects use 'myhs')
berabis is vravis

Closing note - Vye
Mwax


Lesson Number 5 - The Art of the Language

Normal poklens - Hy BaByGuRL
Poklens of higher status - Y@W vAVY9uRL
(Notice the addition of numerals)


Till next time,
Cigu Sarah

On the last day of school, every one of us skipped it and instead went over to Ira's house (too bad Zati and Nadia couldn't come). Once there, we laid our buns on the floor and asked each other, "Bahapa tah nie?" But then Sarah and Aisah came along and after playing with her erotic phone application we then resorted to watching DVDs while stuffing our mouths full of junk food.

Sarah getting high on Pringles

hotninjaboy Nisah

Sarah going through one of Ira's Playgirl magazines

Aisah getting hair on her fingers plucked

Then we got tired of being contained between four walls and proceeded to step outside, keeping an eye out for fresh prey.

We went door to door giving hugs

Teens run amok in Kg Rimba

God wasn't happy with us

Ira was sad cos she didn't have a water tank like her neighbour's

Sarah (who just turned 17 btw) yawning at a sommersaulting cat

Happy birthday to our beloved Sarah Hanaa! We love you sar =))

...


Short post. I never know what else to say when I wish someone a happy birthday.

Oh you people. When are you going to learn?

Russell Peters is so spit-fire.

But Demetri Martin? Now he's, like, spelling things correctly.

......Poklen rule-wise. On a scale of 10. 1 (as spitfire) being the poklen-est and 10 (going online on the computer) being the least poklen-est.

Demetri rates as a 15 on the scale, baby.

How people can look non-retarded right after they wake up and take a shower is beyong my comprehension.


Take 1: Sleepy picture is sleepy.



Take 2: Retarded picture is retarded


Take 3: Poklen pirate picture is poklen.




Random picture is random.

Alrighty then. Zat. Sar. We're waiting ;D

#1 look : Baru bangun tidur/ drowsy haven

#2 look : Out of the shower/ the wet look

#3 look : Normal hair (I don't know how to funkify bah)

THE END *flicks hair*

P.S: Sar and Zati mesti buat jua XD

Hormone-inflicted post ahead.

You have been warned.

Okay. Here I go.

Saya meliat 'The Holiday' hari atu, yang ada Jude Law yang hot kan mati ah. Sekali ada tia the thing arah the movie yang refer to characters dalam movies, female characters, to be exact. About how girls are divided into girlfriends and best friends.

Sekali gue ponder punya ponder, banar jua nya orang tua arah cerita atu ah. Arah 'My Best Friend's Wedding', si Jules best friend, si Kim girlfriend. Arah Laguna Beach , si LC best friend, Kirsten girlfriend. Smallville, si the blonde best friend, Lana girlfriend.

Girlfriend atau best friend ani ada advantages and disadvantagesnya. If you think about it, best friend banarnya ada the better personality, the funnier, spunkier, more adventurous and less ayu one. The girlfriend selalunya yang soft-spoken, hottttttt and BORING. The best friend selalunya lagi rapat with the guy, knows the guy better and understands the guy and the guy will actually go to the best friend for help.

Au contraire, the girlfriend yang kana balikan heels warna pink dari mercier yang hundred labih (birthdaysisarahcomingupppp) oleh the guy while the best friend only gets the pink Power Rangers action figure yang si Kimberly "ingat ko tani dulu pernah main ni sekali aku cabut kepala kimberlymu?". The girlfriend yang kana bawa makan di Sheraton and the best friend kana lanja nasi katok mama ganya. Atu pun beshare tiga orang sebungkus.

The girlfriend and the best friend lain in every way. Lain yang teramat. The girlfriend suka Rihanna, the best friend suka Flyleaf. They, however, have one thing in common.

Durang both in love with the same guy.

The girlfriend, obviously, is in love with the guy, pasal atu durang together. The best friend... well, cemani lah. A guy and a girl inda dapat jadi best friends saja without ada rasa suka, walau sikit cemana pun, deep inside. Atu can only happen if durang loathe each other berabis.

Apakan inda make sense ah.

Cemani lah. A guy and a girl cannot be best friends saja unless if they find each other berabisly revolting. So unless best friend kamu atu salivate every 5 seconds and idungnya inda belubang, there's this like really huge possibility yang kamu involved in unrequited love. As in kamu banarnya diam-diam in love with the guy.

Which is sad. No girl deserves to just be a best friend. Every girl ada every right in the world to be a guy's girlfriend. Every girl deserves the heels from Mercier. No girl should ever have to help ia punya guy get another girl, and no girl should have to be in love with a guy who slaps her back HARD as ia punya form of greeting.

So, ladies, kamu girlfriend kah best friend?

Hearts,
si sarah