Two distant relatives of mine are currently being hospitalised, and I honestly admit I haven't gone to visit either one of them. No, I'm not heartless. I just find hospital visits very difficult to deal with, especially if the patients are diagnosed with incurable illnesses.
How do you deal with it? I can't; it makes me cry. I can't stand the sight of their helpless bodies having long trasparent wires and sharp needles jutting out of their skin, which are connected to various odd contraptions which help keep them alive. They're normally asleep from the anaesthetics given to help reduce the excruciating pain of the disease, the wounds from surgery, and the action of drugs combined. Sometimes they have oxygen masks on their faces, and that's even more painful to see. You can hear them struggling to breathe, and you can observe their chest rise and fall slowly, fearing that it would suddenly stop.
I prefer them asleep, because once they wake, the dams break; I cry. Visitors pretend to be cheerful around The Patient, asking how The Patient is feeling, telling The Patient what's going on in the world beyond the white hospital walls... it seems like a happy scene. But if you look into the eyes of The Patient, you can see that The Patient's smile does not quite reach the eyes. They are often a dull, gray colour, lacking life, longing life. You can see that the disease has drained all the joy and sparkle the eyes had, and flooded them with pain and torture. Yet The Patient pretends that s/he feels better, and wishes the visitors to remember him/her in their prayers. The Patient says this with all his/her strength, and once the short conversation is over and the visitors are asked to leave, The Patient retreats to dreamland, away from the pain of being awake, not knowing if s/he will witness tomorrow or not.
What's worse is if the doctor concludes that there is no more hope for The Patient, and that The Patient may go home to die. What should the family do now? It's easy for others to say that the family should accept whatever happens, and pray to God for some sort of miracle, but can they honestly do that? Even the tough, full-grown sons would cry, and the once jet-setting daughters would gather around The Patient's deathbed, leaving all their diamonds and mansions behind, hugging the family members tight and whispering in The Patient's ear how much they loved him/her. Family is the only thing that matters at this stage.
Nope, I really can't cope with that.
Living in the shallow, materialistic and superficial world we live in now it's a wonder how many people survive (barely...) each day. Of course life would be a breeze if you were a tall, slender young lady with double Ds and a stunning face; or perhaps a well-built footballer with a strong jaw and killer smile. But how many people look like greek Gods and Godesses anyway?
For mere mortals like me you have to work for it. Study hard to get good grades. Put in massive effort to look good and buff up my personality to get people's attention. Heaven sent girls who look like angels would get everything they want just by flashing a smile.
Don't believe me?
Picture this, imagine you're working as a sale's assistant in a store and two people walk in simultaneously. One of them looks hot and the other is bald and fat, which one will you be compelled to attend to? If you say, the hot one then point made. If you say the fat one, I say bullshit lah you~
The truth of the matter is, looks do matter and pretty soon all the pretty people will rule the world as they have everyone else wrapped around their manicured finger. I'm gonna stop ranting now *read the tittle*
Nis wrote one on this earlier on so I'd just like to add on.
Aight, I know we've been all.. "Hahaha bida jua orang poklen ani eh. Cawir... " But never in a million years would I consider myself to be an anti-poklen. Sure when we see them shuffling siring sungai we chuckle heartily to ourselves and we make fun of how they have all the time in the world 2 TeXt LyK DiZ BeB~
However, after months of being away from The land of unexpected treasures I kinda started to miss them boys in baggy spitfire T-shirts with their jeans so low it might as well be on their ankles. I miss walking around at The Mall and encountering a group of boys with their 'Buuuiiii's and 'Mateee pacah~' echoing against the walls putting on their karas face.
Quite frankly, they're all just like you and me. Take away the gerai gadong clothes, the bicycle parts blingage and remove the home made piercings and you've got a regular teen who just wants to have fun. Life in Brunei without these poklens would be horrendous. Brunei would not be what it is now and all of us would definitely not be who we have grown to be today.
So stop dissing biyotches.
Poklens are people too <3
I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied shit for that. I know I should study for that but something caught my eye this morning. I've been thinking a great deal about it. Even during classes and everyone knows how blasphemous that is for me because well. It's me, Nis. So anyway.
I'm not sure how to say it as, I don't know the word, politely as possible? Maybe I'm just deprived of poklen contacts but what's up with the major poklen hate? I mean, sure, we do make fun of them more than often right here but I don't think we ever got as far as HATING them.
This may seem like a post written with specific people in mind and I may have 455 people (It increases by the second. How exciting.) hating me after this but I have to do this.
Anti-poklens.
They go "Oh my God. I hate poklens. I hope they catch wabak selesma khinzir and DIE." Then a few minutes later (or before), they'll say, "What is a poklen really?"
A lot of people have tried to define the word "poklen" but failed.
Poklens are annoying, poklens can't type, poklens listen to radios, poklens dress cawer and/or lanji, poklens suka shuffle, poklens prefer Friendster over Facebook, poklens punya English bida, poklens this, poklens that. Truth is, no one can really say what is a poklen and where poklen comes from.
Then how can you say you hate poklens?
You say that poklens think they're oh-so-cool. Do you think you're cool for hating something that no one really knows what it means? Are you just jumping the bandwagon?
For all we know, I could be a poklen. I listen to the radio. She could be a poklen. She dresses lanji-ly. He could be a poklen. He knows how to shuffle. You could be a poklen. You go to the mall often. We could be poklens. We think we know what poklens do and say. There's a little bit of poklen-ism in everyone of us.
It is a harsh reality to face but...anti-poklens. YOU are the POKLENS.
If you reject the above views because you KNOW what a poklen is and think what I just said is bullocks, I have another one. Try imagining a life without poklens. How is it? Idyllic? Stress-free?
You may think it is. But really think about it. Our lives will basically remain the same or turn for the worse.
We exist because poklens exist. Without poklens, we have no source of entertainment. Who are we going to mock? Retarded kids? That's just mean. At least with poklens being a complex issue in terms of its definition, we're not directly doing any harm to anyone. Nothing that I am aware of anyway.
Each country has their own little society that is like the kid in the every family that people try to ignore because s/he shoves crayons in his/her nose. It's part of life. But come on. What other country can say they have their own little community of spitfire-wearing individuals who like to shuffle and say "yaw"?
Do people tYp!Ng L!k3 D!$ really annoy you? Stop talking to poklens on MSN. Or stop going on MSN. Or Yahoo.
Does the word "Buiii" really bother you? Think of it as the malay version of "man" or "dude". Because it really is. How come people can say "dude" or "man" but not "bui"?
You can call me si taie (or even a poklen) for saying the things I've said. I know I'm at least a little bit right. Give me evidence to show that what I've said is wrong, I'll believe anything you say.Sorry this whole post is all jumbled up. I had to leave it for some time and kind of forgot what the whole point was of the sentence was. Will recheck when I can and try to make more sense. ALSO. Esok exam.
How nice. I had a dream where I had a heated argument about Twisties with some dude and someone licked my uniform.
It was terrifying.
...and...I forgot what this was supposed be all about. uh. I like kamu punya poems.
Oh right. I want to know kenapa orang google "baju kurung" and arrive here? Rather scary. Have I mentioned this before? I'm sorry if I have.
Going now. English ku mikin ancur. Good luck with kamu semua punya exam.
Well, inda pulang.
I had this major weird dream the other night. I was in a chem tuition class even though I'm not a chem student; I was just there pasal aku ho and aku suka rakat sama boyfriendku who happened to be this cina tagap tinggi lampai yang aku nampak bellybuttonnya saja.
Skali kan.
Ada announcement arah PA system menyuruh aku naik ke atas to 'the balcony'. Then I was like, "INDAKUMAU. AKU MAU SAMA BOYFRIENDKU CINA!" Tapi kana pajal so I had to go jua. Turns out, this certain prince of Brunei mau aku dangani ia belajar, so I agreed lah, pasal aku pussy kan say no to a royalty member like a typical Bruneian. I won't say siapa that prince pasal karang ada tia KDN bunuh aku.
We got close in that dream. He was younger than me so he looked up to me like a sister. Ia baiikkkkk brabis dalam mimpiku, but he was an asshole to other people. Arah ku saja ia baik (prasan much?). Then kami jadi macam siblings. Sampai aku introduce ia arah my friends jua, and Aisah came to hang out at the istana with me.
But then ada this scene with Aisah being a slut pasal cousinnya ada. macam apakan? She wore panties and a corset. saja.
The dream ends with me being in a romantic relationship with the prince. Ada x-rated scenes jua. Seronok besar.
But it's disgusting how we were 'siblings' first then 'lovers'. That count as incest?
Anyway, the true aim behind this post is that I wrote a poem inspired by that dream. Jangan plagiarise ah. Don't be a copypussy.
There was this legend about a girl,
She had a secret unknown to the world,
She was madly in love with a fine fellow,
Her name was Rebecca and Adam was her Romeo.
Rebecca’s the least person you’d expect,
To be with Adam; someone so perfect,
Because she’s kind of awkward, and a whole lot strange,
Whereas Adam was flawless; nothing could be changed.
However, they were madly in love,
A feeling so passionate, it shook the heavens above,
Just one look into each other’s eyes,
Would send them flying beyond the skies.
You may ask why their romance is kept a secret,
The thing is, Adam’s a prince, so you better zip it,
He’s a real prince of royal descent,
But Rebecca’s just a loser, someone non-existent.
The king wouldn’t like it, neither would the queen,
So they had to meet in secret, without being seen,
They would meet at night, in the strangest places,
Like somewhere in the woods, without familiar faces.
Rebecca’s always being laughed at when she’s in school,
Adam’s the opposite; he’s known for being cool,
He’s a real jerk though, but only to others,
Rebecca, he’ll treat like a goddess.
Though he’s an asshole, people bow at his feet,
Just because he’s a prince, his orders they heed,
With Rebecca, he’ll be completely different,
He’ll be nice and sweet, and never petulant.
One day, Rebecca’s bullying got a bit too much,
Her clothes were torn off and her private parts touched,
Everyone just watched, cheering and laughing,
Then they left her there, limp and crying.
That night, Adam consoled her,
And asked her to be with him forever,
Rebecca was ecstatic, and jumped jubilantly,
She answered ‘yes’ almost immediately.
The next day, Rebecca’s mother got the shock of her life,
Because she found Rebecca, Adam’s new wife,
Motionless and cold, lying on the bed,
It was far too late; Rebecca was dead.
She overdosed from sleeping pills,
It surely wasn’t against her will,
Prince Adam wanted Rebecca forever, so it’s seems,
But ‘Romeo and Rebecca’ was just a delusional dream.
BAHAGIA KO WAN? apeh, angst :P
I just had an arguement with zati about... Jeng jeng jeng... Platonic relationships.
Me, being the sceptic/pessimist/bitter old lady that I am, believe that there's no such thing. Well maybe there is but it is highly unlikely. A platonic relationship to me will only work if:-
1) one of them (or both) are already in a relationship
2) one of them are seriously hideous that no sane person would ever consider being with them
3) they're related (2nd cousins or something)
Cos well quite frankly the whole point of us being organisms are to reproduce and die. It's a built in mechanism that no one can deny. So being of the opposite gender with all these hormones swimming around, once you get close to someone there will be something there. Maybe not exactly the whole shabang but there will be something.
We've got this pathetic need to be loved and touched and shit, so when you've found someone who's willing to give you that attention, of course things will divert to somewhere you never thought it would lead (or did you?)
That's what I think anyway. I'm sure most will disagree but the fun part will be you trying to convince me that I'm wrong.
Bring it.
Mine's on schedule. And it has been for quite some time.
But if you want random.
"Damn" is a Latin word and it means condemnation. There is once a very intellectual lady pope who died a horrible horrible death after they found out she's a lady when her baby popped out of her uterus during a pope convention thing in public and they all thought the baby was an Antichrist. After that, they invented a chair where you can look up the pope's skirt to see if he's really a dude. Also, apparently it is physically impossible for Italians to grow beards.
And here's uplifting.
In the play Julius Caesar, Marc Antony starts a triumvirate with Octavius and Lepidus. Once in charge, Marc Antony starts murdering the Romans, including his own cousin, so his army gets more money from Julius Caesar's will so they can win against in-the-closet Brutus and faggy bi-polar Cassius. Marc Antony wants to kill Lepidus because he thinks Lepidus is dumb and as useful as a horse but Octavius says "LOLWAT. PAY ATTENTION TO THE BATTLE" and since Marc Antony secretly wants to bang Octavius, he didn't kill Lepidus.
In the end, Marc Antony wins against goody-goody-two-shoes Brutus (who kills himself when he found Cassius dead beside the dead body of Cassius's lover bestfriend, what'shisname, who killed himself when he found out Cassius killed himself because he thought what'shisname was killed by their enemies). Although it was Marc Antony's army that won the battle for them, Octavius becomes the leader of the homoerotic Roman(s?) and their swooshy white dresses after the battle because he's Julius Caesar adopted son or something.
So Shakespeare is telling us that it's okay to be an a-hole who backstabs people; in fact you'll succeed in life if you are one. But you can be the leader if you're more focused on what you want to do. And know someone who used to be a leader and are like "YO HOMIE *secret handshake here*" with him/her. That-one-dude's words ring true when he says, "Shakespeare is a homo."
GODDAMN YOU I'M TRYING TO STUDY FOR MY EXAM IT IS IN TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING OH GOD WHAT REALLY HAPPENS IN JULIUS CAESAR
ಠ_ಠ
*brushes away all the cobwebs, vacuums all the dust bunnies and gasaks away all the taie cicak*
God damn it's been ages since anyone's posted in here. Kurang ajar.. Blog sorang2 active masih tapi ani nada kamu ingau ah? Cis... If this place was a dog.. eh haram... If this place was a cat, cangkir sudah ni nada kana bagi makan, love nor affection.
Are you all too busy with your lives to give a rat's ass about this place we used to consider our very own little cyber patch of heaven? Are you too cool to admit that you're a Panatzorist? No more uplifting, random posts? No more, looking back on the good times? No more, all for one and one for all?
No. You're all too busy shopping. Or hanging out with friends. Or seeing some boy. Or eating junk. Guess this place is dead after all...
My pathetic speech to make you guys guilty. Come one guys, post something once in a while. Let's get this show back on the road eh?
...we write poklen poems.
Here's to you.
eh suri bui, no openz
we listen to likin pak yo
awu eh, we the very smat chicks
and dey're face very hencem
tonite we are go to mall wif dem
alright, now we got 2 go
Inggris makin crap sejak ke UK.
Love,
Wan and Zat.
Everytime someone says this place is dead
My heart gets chipped in the corners
as it overflows with dread
It may be apparent, It may be true
But don't want to believe it
I refuse to accept the truth
Cos this blog represents the best thing in my life
it represents the relationship I have with my pals
So if this place is abandoned and left to rot
what does that say about us?
Do you want me to stop?
Distance destroys everything
Love fades because of it
but I thought we all could last
I thought we could reach the summit
So please don't say this blog is dead
even though it may be true
cos this is all I have right now
It's the only thing that links me to you
AKU EMO PASAL AKU NDA BEDUIT. Plus I think I sound gay XD