I swear we're not Santa

Di kesempatan ini, kami panatzorists yang maybe ada bedosa arah kamu manusia sekalian ingin mengucapkan SELAMAT HARI RAYA.

Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

<3 Panatzorists

Yesterday was yet another puasa day, and every puasa day ends with the sungkai at 6.13. There is only one way to celebrate the sungkai, and that is with yummy food on the table, cooked, prepared and fatty. And everyone knows there are only three ways in which you can get those food.

Numero uno: Mum's cooking.
Best type of food ever, except when your mother is cranky from a long day at work. When she's not, she's all rajin, cooking awesomeawesome daging masak kicap, nasi goreng and loads other nyamannyaman food. When she's cranky, dearest father and us resort to the next best thing...

Nombor dua: Sungkai di kadai.

This is actually the preferred type of sungkai, especially when all you have at home is an amah who speaks in monosyllables and five sisters who never bothers to do housework and instead watches Laguna Beach before and after sungkai. Di kadai, there is no need for you to wash and wring the dishes (yes, I actually do that) and you can be all kambang as the waitresses at Sheraton rush to clear your plate away and you saunter off, taking yet another plate.

I have to comment on some of the sungkai places around Brunei. Sheraton Utama Hotel's Sungkai Buffet is by far the best ever. You get to dine in an uber posh environment and by the time you finish the appetizer you're already as full as a blimp. Or kembayau. The main course is biasa, the typical rice and fish and chicken and veggies, but they also have laksa and soto and western dishes, plus the nyamanest sizzling roast beef ever, freshly cut. For dessert, you can choose from Malay kuihs or sinful chocolate cakes or the prettily-cut fruits. Sheraton, a must.

ILotus and the Airport Cafeteria, also famous for their awesome sungkai buffet. Haven't tried them this year, will ask dad later.

Rizqun is also fine, if you're into crowds of people.

Most overrated sungkai place ever: the Yayasan Mari Bersungkai buffet! Listening to the repeated advert on the radio, you'd actually expect lines and rows of tents out there arah the open space, each tent filled with the promised good food and ambience. MY FOOT. All they have was some tents, not even filling one-half of the open space and the food available filled none of the tables. Don't go there if you're not into disappointment.

Another good place is the Arthini Nasi Kandar place behind the Bunut Shell Station. If you're into curry, ayam kurma, ayam kicap and Indian dishes, that's the place to go to, apart from Le Taj and Zaika. Course, you have to keep up with tons of other people, and you probably have to reserve your seats beforehand.

No sungkai review is complete without mentioning the Empire Hotel Sungkai buffet, but of course, like always, the food at Empire is overrated and plain. No different from other restaurants, but you get to be kambang pasal sungkai di Empire.


Nomor tiga: Membeli makanan di gerai-gerai Ramadhan.

This is my all-time favourite. Having good food on the table and not having to dress up to enjoy it. Awesome.

Yesterday, I went on my routine food-scouting arah the Stadium gerai. Start from the dapan, they sell prety good pais and other stuffs. Walk across the small longkang and approach the first stall on the right. They sell pretty alright kuihs. Walk on and to the left, there's this stall which sells the best bingka susu and bingka tarap. Walk on further, at the end you'll find a stall selling mee tiaw and mee mamak. The best ever. A regular on our dinner table. The stall next to it sells pretty decent hati buyah. If you're rajin, look for the Serikandi stall, they sell nyamannyaman briyani.

While buying food yesterday, tarus-tarus tia berangin berabis, kan ribut. Suddenly everyone was rushing and urging impatiently for the hawkers to pack their food "bah laju eh, ujan karang!" Instead of running away from the ribut and packing up, the tres. tres patient food hawkers stayed put, some of them standing in front of their stall, holding on to their tents, ready to pull it down should the persistent wind try to pull it apart. Anything for just a few more dollars.

Good food, and the chance to witness human nature at its best. Stadium gerai is my number one pick.

Another awesome gerai is the Anak-anak Hj. Metali gerai at the end of the Delima Satu place thingie. It's right at the end, near the Mubarak Book Emporium and Deejay video place. They sell the best food ever, despite their small stall. Their lalap and satay goreng is a must.

I can't say much about the gerai Ramadhan di Bunut, across the mosque. The food's fine, I guess, if you're into burgers and that. Go to the Stadium.

Bah, I'm tired. Have fun sungkai-ing later, loves. English Orals this afternoon.

I should be a food critic,
Sarah Oliver

Finally, an update from us loverly panatzorists! Yes, yes, we know, you've all missed us, but no fear, 'cause Sarah is here, and I can rant on about useless Bruneian facts, so useless that you might even find them useful.

If you don't know me, then it shouldn't take you a long time to figure out that yes, I am just another typical, lame and possibly brain dead teenage girl.

Well, as the title of this post states, I shall explain to all of you the well-known yet unknown Poklen Rule. Nope, I'm not imitating Ian, because Ian has his guy view of poklenism and I have the other gender which is not male's view of poklenism. In Brunei.

I wouldn't even bother explaining what a poklen is 'cause it's something that everyone from you to my culturally-deprived amah knows. Being judgemental Bruneians, as we all are, we tend to size people up by their appearance. A fake Juicy Couture bag screams out the word "POKLEN". Sure, you can't find a decent original Juicy Couture bag here in Brunei, seeing that even the lawaest boutiques in town coughdomanicough admit that the supposed branded things they sell are fake, at least stop showing off the handbag, because everyone knows they're fake. If you persist and still walk around with a handbag saying ADIBAS, you are a poklen.

Poklens rarely annoy the hell out of people, mainly because almost everyone else are poklens as well. Poklens are liked by everyone, and it is usually them poklens who get the hottest poklen guys and never in the history of poklenism has a poklen girl been single for more than 5 days. A poklen girl can walk around Tambing and Pasar Gadong and have all the hawkers' eyes on her. A poklen guy can strike the fancy of almost all types of girls, because non-poklen girls wonder what is it about these guys that make them so irresistible even in they're gerai dog tags.

Poklens love the radio. It is the numero uno most important thing in life apart from hanging out at The Mall and typing LiK3 diZzZz. Poklens can never go far without the radio. They can't send dedications to they're daling lating manja and they can't listen to all the best hits from ST12 and Rihanna. They can't send sober messages to the radio station when they break-up and they can't tell the world that they're abang shayang is on his way from Sg. Liang to Berakas. The radio is everything. We keep the radio.

I will update this later. If I'm still alive. And not murdered by poklens.

I don't hate you guys. I'm a poklen, too. I listen to Kristal and listen to that Ku Ingin Kamu song and I watched My Heart. And I type 'na' instead of 'nda'.

I love you all,
Star Dabedoo