I swear we're not Santa

Since no one's updating, I'm going to. With a topic very close to my heart and I'm sure, yours too.

Asses.

There was a time where everywhere I turn I can hear someone going, "Ass nya tight ah. Rawrrr." It was a very dark time for me because:
(a) I can't go "rawr" properly.
(b) I don't see the fascination with asses.

People don't say that ALL the time now since kan puasa kali. Karang kurang pahala or something.o that's a good thing but once in a while, they do and I never know what to say.

According to wikipedia, asses/buttocks are formed by the masses of the gluteal muscles or 'glutes superimposed by a layer of fat. The buttocks allow primates to sit upright without needing to rest their weight on their feet as four-legged animals do.

Okay, so it helps us look superior to most animals. What does that have to do with someone's sexual appearance (seriously, there has to be a word for it)? I mean, seriously. Is it our primate (primatal?) instinct? Like baboons; they use their bums to attract the other gender.

Fascinated with asses is one thing and saying that it's tight is another. How do you even know that it is, in fact, tight? Do you squeeze them? I asked someone this and she said "Yes, I suppose." Okay, you squeeze asses. Of random strangers/celebrities/your schoolmates? She didn't have an answer for that.

Do you have to have this power to know if it's tight?

What is the use of tight asses in your relationship?

I would really appreciate it if someone could answer some of the questions in this post. If no one answers at least one, I will lose all faith in humanity. Oh, and thanks if there is an answer.

Now that that's off my chest and school's tomorrow, I'm going to start doing all my work now. Adios.

ps: Offended? Call 1-800-don't-kill-me.